Through a marvelous display of loyalty and stupidity, both our heroes have been captured by Montague’s men and are headed to Neo Verona. Oh noes! What will happen now?

Well first Juliet is paraded through the streets in front of a strangely silent crowd. What, no reaction to the capture of the elusive Capulet heir that’s haunted your city for fourteen years aside from “meh”? Okay then, oddly unresponsive citizenry of Neo Verona.

Currio watches from the shadows, clearly planning to storm the transport and rescue Juliet, when Francisco stops him. He’s nice and rested from his stay in the brothel, and he points out that with Juliet taking all the Carabinieri’s attention the Capulet loyalists can regroup and work out a proper plan for Juliet’s rescue that doesn’t involve two lone men charging at twenty armed guards. Currio grumpily agrees.

Then Juliet is brought to Montage – who’s starting to look even more like a Disney villain than he already did – and has to listen to a speech about how she’s rude for existing and seducing Romeo was clearly all a ploy to bring down House Montague. She says nothing, cause she’s badass, until Montague declares that her public execution will be in two days. Then she tries to bargain for the life of the other rebels, but Montague justly points out that she has nothing to negotiate with at this point and refuses.

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All in the most uncomfortable way possible.

Or, I mean, he would have pointed out the futility of her negotiations if he were less of a melodramatic grape; instead he swooshes his cape around proclaiming about rather cutting his tongue out than showing mercy to Capulets. You know, like an emotionally mature grown adult.

Then Juliet is thrown in jail and we finally see what happened to Romeo in all of this – which is basically nothing. He changed his clothes I guess? And he’s pissed off that everyone believes this story about Juliet seducing him to use him in her schemes, loudly insisting that it was true love, dammit! Then he seems shocked and horrified to find out that Juliet is to be executed. What did you think Montague wanted to do with her all these years? Give her a puppy?

Hermione is visiting Juliet in the dungeons, and she seems at first to be proving once again that she’s the nicest person ever: she brought Juliet fresh clothes and awkwardly thanks her for the handkerchief like someone who’s trying to be a decent human being to her fiance’s mistress and a death-row inmate. And then she leaves Juliet and rants to Mercutio about how much of a bitch she is for seducing Romeo and thinking Hermione is too stupid to see the ruse.

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Dangit show, I said not to ruin Hermione for me. Bad show, bad!

It would be a genuinely tragic scene if Hermione didn’t suddenly turn bitter and mean towards Juliet while thinking Romeo blameless. I guess it’s an understandable reaction, but I still feel it goes against her previous characterization.

In the city, the people are finally having a delayed reaction to Juliet’s capture and we find out they’re not too pleased about this whole public execution business. Enough to do something about it, perhaps?

Mama Cordelia is bawling her eyes out and blaming herself for the whole mess – not realizing Romeo was a Montague, not being there for Juliet, letting her make all these terrible decisions alone – and Benvolio is comforting her because they’re totally a couple now. Don’t argue with me, I said it so it is law.

Conrad managed to get a map of the castle dungeon, somehow, and Francisco, Currio and Antonio – who are the only ones left, apparently? – are trying to figure out a way in to rescue Juliet. Lo! it turns out Benvolio is actually useful since he knows his way around the palace and can help them! (Everyone seems surprised at this. Is this not why you wanted his family on your side?) Then they decide to attack from the air because they have dragonsteeds now? When did that happen? Do you not know how useful dragonsteeds would have been before now?

So night falls, they attack, Francisco is a ballin’ archer and they brought the ten-year-old with them but not Benvolio for some reason. We get a nice action scene where Currio and Francisco are badass together (that totally doesn’t add fuel to my shipping fire), and we find out that Mercutio is really hard to faze. Literally his reaction to “Rebels are attacking the castle to help the Capulet girl escape! It’s pandemonium!” is “Huh… well then stop them? And don’t be too loud about it.”

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Mercutio needs his beauty sleep, people! You can have your little revolution later.

Meanwhile, Montague is just… angrily staring at Escalus for seemingly no reason. …Okay then.

Currio finds Juliet, but she doesn’t want to escape if it means others will die protecting her again. He points out that if she dies now, all those who already died for her will have done so in vain, including Doctor Lancelot and the Red Whirlwind. This seems to get her out of her funk, at least more so than when he mentions Romeo, so I have hope our little vigilante is coming back for justice rather than revenge.

Mercutio goes and tells Romeo that Juliet is trying to escape, so of course Romeo runs off to try and save her (somehow – he’s unarmed and no one listens to him anymore, so your guess is as good as mine as to what he thinks he’s gonna do.)

Currio and Juliet are fighting off the guards when she suddenly gets the same psychic wave attack she felt in the cave last episode. And then a fountain explodes (?) and she’s carried off by the torrent as Currio tries to save her.

She wakes up in the Escalus cave to Ophelia speaking riddles about a Goddess and gardens and Juliet carrying on for “us”, whoever that is. Montague takes a break from angrily staring to angrily yell at Ophelia for casually hanging out with a wanted criminal, and then Ophelia sends Juliet sinking back down into the water, saying she will return one day.

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This whole thing is really trippy, man.

While this is going on, everyone is frantically looking for Juliet while fighting off the royal guard. Francisco continues to be Legolas, Antonio is waiting outside with the getaway dragonsteed, and Romeo is… wandering around while being very, very observant, I guess.

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Also way to not make me ship this even harder, show. 

Juliet somehow wakes up in another fountain, where she is quickly spotted by the guards. She’s surrounded, but fortunately for her Romeo jumps down at least five (?) stories to shield her, and then they run off together while the guards are confused as to how Romeo managed that jump without breaking both his legs.

He ends up staying behind so she can escape, and promises that next time they meet they won’t need to run anymore. The episode ends with Juliet optimistically riding off into the moonlight with her friends, ready to smash the patriarchy monarchy so she can finally be with Romeo again.

Hark! ‘Tis the plot! :

  • I don’t remember if I’ve ranted about this before, but allowing Romeo and Juliet to marry would actually solve all of Montague’s problems? Like, it’s stated that Juliet is only inheriting her family’s titles and estates because her brothers are dead, which means we have a male-primogeniture society here, which means Juliet’s estate and titles would legally pass to her male children if not her husband upon marriage. So by marrying her into the Montagues, you get a politically-crippled rebellion (Juliet and any child she has is an easily-accessible hostage), and all the Capulet legitimacy passed onto Romeo and/or his children legally as well as through conquest, strengthening your claim to the throne exponentially. On top of that, you get rid of the risk of creating a martyr, and by integrating the former Capulet retainers into your court you take away any reason they would have to rebel against you again. And Romeo and Juliet get to be together! Problem solved. (Of course there’s always the risk they try to kill you from the inside for revenge, but then that’s why you carefully monitor their movements and give Juliet no political power on her own).
  • So Juliet is officially psychically linked to Escalus now, which… means something? She’s going to come back and do something according to Ophelia, but I have no clue what that is.

Random notes :

  • Did Montague want Juliet to be rescued? If you want her dead so badly, schedule her execution for that evening, don’t wait 48 hours.
  • I’m torn between “some scenes are really nice and well thought out and speak to a thorough understanding of the characters and their development and also wow look at that pretty animation” and “good God is every character here stupid or could the writers not think of an intelligent way to make this other scene happen?” Like the guards actually STOP IN THE DOORWAY so that Romeo and Juliet can have that little  farewell chat.
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