Shadowy guy to the rescue! He doesn’t like giving his name out to petty mercenaries, and neither Francisco nor Currio know who he is. So why is he helping our heroes? And more importantly, who is he?

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Why, he’s our morally ambiguous and mysteriously skilled secondary character! You always need one of those, right?

They defeat the guards but don’t kill them, and instead instruct them to tell Montague the assassination was a success so that he won’t keep sending more killers after Benvolio’s family. So, I guess Benvolio’s not going to die! My premonitions were for naught!

Shadowy guy knows who Juliet Fiamatta Ars de Capulet is, and tells her that she has “matured well” which is… creepy? Creepy. Shadow guy is creepy.

Then he leaves, in an exit that would make Tuxedo Mask proud.

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Believe in yourself, Juliet Moon.

And then he says his name is Tybalt. Hi Tybalt! I was wondering where you’d gone! At least they seem to have gotten the “hotheaded asshole” part of his character right.

It’s morning, and Romeo is flying over the city, feeling sad that he can’t do anything to help his friends. (Okay, this guy’s personality is basically 40% clueless, 30% puppy love, 5% angry at his own helplessness, and 25% flying horse.) His dragonsteed takes him back to the Capulet cemetary again, because the script said so!

Juliet and co. have just finished setting up Benvolio and his family in a safehouse, where they can hide from the Carabinieri and Montague. They’re grateful, and totally not disturbed at all the treason going on all around them. Benvolio’s dad is just confused that the “Ars de Capulet” Tybalt spoke to is a boy, because he’s never heard of disguises before. So Juliet admits her identity. Welp, better hope these new recruits to your cause will be loyal, cause you just gave them a heck of a lot of information to burn you with in the future.

Romeo’s gone to see his mother, because he’s just now realized that all the names on the graves in the Capulet cemetary have been chiseled off (despite having been there before) and he wants to know if his father had something to do with this mass desecration of the dead. I guess he’s never read a history book, because he has no idea how his father rose to power.

Mama Montague admits that the Montague’s rise to power was… less than legal. And that Capulet’s daughter was indeed named Juliet. And that Oh my God Romeo please don’t tell me she’s the one you’re in love with. And that BTW, there’s this romantic flower festival this afternoon where you have to give flowers to the one you love, hope that doesn’t factor into the plot in any way!

It turns out Benvolio’s dad and Conrad are old buddies, and Benvolio’s family is totally on board the Capulet train now. They hope to use his knowledge and connections as former Lord Mayor to help their cause.

Conrad is taking Benvolio in himself and leaving the parents in the safehouse, since Montague’s men will be looking for a family of three, not a childless couple and an orphaned teenager. Benvolio’s dad approves, since it might give his son an opportunity to “learn the ways of the world.”

Cut to Benvolio being confused by a broom.

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You adorable priviledged cinnamon role.

Cordelia bosses him around after observing his absolute mastery of broomwork, and I start to ship them together a little bit. Belieguered friends of the protagonists with completary skill sets being forced to work together through circumstance? Yup, I’m betting they’re our beta couple.

Amelia the actress is having boy trouble again (this time because her patron invited three other women to accompany him to the flower festival), so she drags Odin along as her new escort just to show him a new one. I think the pattern of Amelia dragging Odin somewhere = Juliet and Romeo meeting is becoming firmly established.

Back at the palace, who should come upon a brooding Romeo but Hermione? Since Montague has planned a lavish firework show that night in honour of his son’s engagement, and since it just so happens to be a day celebrating love, Hermione has this silly notion that Romeo might want to join her for dinner and fireworks that evening. Can’t you see he’s in love, woman?

Seriously though, she’s still really sweet, and they are engaged, and he’s the one in the wrong here if anything. But he agrees to the date and she skips away, happy.

At the flower festival, Odin has been dumped in favour of a better-looking gentleman in a ponytail, and kinda just wanders the stalls aimlessly for a bit. He picks up an iris, and then drops it from a bridge directly onto Romeo. Because even the law of gravity is conspiring to get these two together.

Romeo sees her, and she runs off, and he follows, and she was kind of on a balcony-type-bridge-thing so yay visual reference?

As they try to outrun each other through the busy streets You Raise Me Up starts playing, so I guess we’ll be getting a romantic moment soon.

Despite being an expert at evading the Carabinieri, Juliet can’t manage to shake off Romeo and he finally catches up with her on a deserted piece of street. The music swells, she tries to run away but he kisses her (another thing that’s really only romantic in theory, guys, btw), her wig falls off through the power of love and perfect shiny locks, and the fireworks start off in the distance. (resist the urge to make joke about fireworks in Romeo’s pants.)

And this is when my heart breaks, guys, because while this is happening:

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You raise me uuuuuuuuup (no joke intended)

This is also happening:

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You had one job Romeo. ONE JOB.

And it’s making this:

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Really a lot harder to enjoy. Because seriously, poor Hermione. Dick move Romeo, dick move.

Hark! ‘Tis the Plot:

  • Who exactly is Tybalt in this version? I suppose he could still be a Capulet cousin who escaped the purge, which would explain how he knows about Juliet. But then how did Conrad and the others not know about his existence until now? You would think two Capulets are better than one for rallying public support.
  • Romeo’s mom asks him whether he brought her more irises, and sounds really eager. Subtle undermining of husband’s power through symbolic displays = confirmed.
  • I’m expecting Romeo brushing Hermione aside to have serious political consequences for him. Because no, you can’t just ignore your bethrothed in a political match, because the whole idea is to make an alliance and if you neglect your partner that becomes seen as you neglecting the alliance itself. Plus, he hurt Hermione’s feelings and he needs to be punished for it.

Random notes:

  • Benvolio’s dad says that Juliet being dressed as a boy all these years is “beyond imagination”, which… no. That word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
  • Currio’s face when Francisco says he’s meeting a bunch of girls for the flower festival = jealousy confirmed.
  • Cordelia says that Benvolio would “starve in a stocked kitchen”, which I would have found pretty harsh if I hadn’t seen him with the broom. The poor guy has no idea.
  • Hermione had set up roses on the table, because she had assumed those were Romeo’s favourite flower based on totally understandable prior evidence, and had asked him about it, and he said yes, and she went to so much trouble you guys and just. Like. I feel so bad for her.